How does friendship make our life sweet?

I thank my friends for being in my life. Photo shows a gathering with my friends at a restautant in the UAE. Mazen, Bassem, Hadeel from left to right in first row, and Mohab, Ali, Maha-May, Narmeen, Rasha, Omar, Dalal, Marwa from left to right in the second row.

The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Friends are an important part of every individual’s life. You talk with them about everything; share your top secrets. You go out with them, and spending time with friends is always fun. Everybody would agree that if friends were not there, life would be quite boring.

One of the most important understood areas of psychology concerns the role of friends in our lives. I have constantly felt frustrated about the relative lack of research on this topic under the category of close relationships in middle and later life. Most of the research on friendship concerns children and adolescents, and only rarely do researchers seriously address friendships over the latter (and majority) of the lifespan. A lot of research has pointed out that children’s friends affect different aspects of their life such as behavior, self-esteem and social development, reminding us how important it is to know and to help our children choose their friends.

But, what about the importance of friendships in other different age groups! The modern social life causes a lot of problems like divorce, obesity, depression and other psychological disorders, which we often think to be based in areas such as poverty, unemployment or stress. That means we must be overlooking something critical: friendship. It appears that the new societies are ignoring its importance.

My friends and I who raise a hand spend a nice time at a restaurant.

Aristotle and friendship

The Greek philosopher Aristotle had a famous quote, “In poverty and other misfortunes of life, true friends are a sure refuge. They keep the young out of mischief; they comfort and aid the old in their weakness, and they incite those in the prime of life to noble deeds.” Aristotle also believed that friendship could only arise indirectly, like happiness. It comes with living what he called a good life, including strong personal values such as honesty, character and passion.

We are all aware of the value of friendship especially during difficult times. If you ask people why they became homeless, why their marriage failed or why they overeat, they often say it is because of the poor quality or nonexistence of friendships.

In fact, your personality is greatly influenced by whom your friends are. They sometimes teach you, make you learn new things, point out your mistakes and help you rectify them, cheer you up when needed, offer you a fresh perspective and always love, care and support you.

Friendships are vital for happiness, but they take time to develop and cannot be artificially created. No wonder they are at risk of being neglected.

Studies have pointed out that: If your best friend eats healthy, you are five times more likely to have a healthy diet. Married people say friendship is more than five times as important as physical closeness within a marriage. Those who say they have no real friends at work have only a one in 12 chance of feeling involved in their job.

Conversely, if you have a “best friend at work,” you are seven times more likely to feel involved in your job.

There is a famous Arabic saying: “choose the friend that you will go with before choosing the road that you will enter,” which means it is essential to choose the friends that enhance our feelings in times of happiness and sadness, encourage our way of thinking and support our social adjustment in our life and our work.

So before you decide to take someone to be your friend, you have to ask yourself some questions: Do you feel good about yourself when with your friend? Do you feel good about your friend? Does your friend support your aspirations? Does your friend make you feel better or worse? The answers to these questions will help you choose suitable and good friends.

The importance of close relationships in middle and later life is often ignored. Elderly friends play Chinese chess games near their bird cages hang on the trees at a park in Beijing, China. (Photo : AP/NEWSis)

How friends play a great role in our lives

1-Individual growth: Your friends help you grow as a person and even contribute to your success directly or indirectly. They support you in every situation you come across in your life and in every possible manner.

2-Improving self-esteem and increasing confidence: In any situation when you lose your confidence, your friends come to the rescue. They motivate you and help you increase your self-esteem. They help you regain your lost self-confidence and stand by your side to keep up your spirits and hopes.

3- A fresh perspective: Every friend is different from you. The way each person thinks and looks at things vary. Thus, he/she can offer you a new perspective.

4- Learning life lessons and how to respect differences: Friends are there with you in many crucial times of your life. Each of their unique behaviors and/or decisions can help you learn important lessons of life. Moreover, with the variety of natures and behaviors, you gradually learn to respect your differences, which is very essential when adjusting with anybody be it your colleague, partner or someone else.

5- Completely love and care for you: Friends totally love you and care for you. They are the people who keep in mind your every small habit, choice and need and try. Their love and care know no limits.

6- Helping and supporting you: For any kind of help you need, you can always approach a friend. True friends generously help you whenever you require it and in anyway you need. They are ready to happily stand by you and cater to all your needs.

7- Sharing secrets and being trusty: Your friends are the ones with whom you can share any detail about your life: may it be your personal, family, or relationship problems or any other thing that you want to share. Moreover, you need not worry about him/her spilling the beans in front of anybody else as friends are the ones with whom you can share all your secrets.

8- Spending time and enjoying: My friends spend quality time with me and never let me feel lonely. They give me time whenever I need to be with someone and make me smile even in despair. They are the ones with whom I can say silly jokes and be crazy. They are always fun to be with and never allow me to get bored. Even a boring or dangerous place seems to be exciting in the company of friends. They are the ones who I could enjoy being anywhere with, even in hell!

Finally, life with my friends becomes an easygoing journey that I would never like to end. Each day spent with them is to be cherished even if some days bring misunderstandings or fights. But, whatever it is, friendship is an old book, and while turning its pages I experience a lot of mixed feelings and realize that even after sharing the best and the worst, we are still together. God bless my friends!