Ptolemy’s Universe: What if you are a man in Azerbaijan?!

(Xinhua) — A man holds a bouquet of flowers in Azerbaijan’s capital Baku (Xinhua/Tofik Babayev)(hy)

Zamira ABBASI

Honestly, I was not planning to write about it. I knew if I start writing, I won’t be able to stop. Anger would not let me make solid judgments until my economy book has suggested the following:

“Most students have seen an image of Ptolemy’s concept of our Universe. Planet Earth forms the center, with the other planets and our sun revolving around it. The ancients’ anthropocentric view of the universe necessarily placed their planet at the center. Despite being false, this view of our world worked reasonably well – in the sense that the ancients could predict celestial motions, lunar patterns and the seasons quite accurately” (Curtis& Irvin, 2015). 

While reading it hit me so bad that I furiously started looking for my blog to start a new topic. Ptolemy’s concept of Universe has motivated me to write about Masculinity in Azerbaijan. First of all, you being born as a boy in Azerbaijan is already a success. Your dad is proud, your mom is happy, all relatives and neighbors who could not “make” a boy are jealous, and state is happy to make you a puppet of its militaristic plans.

You are allowed to do anything. I am telling you, anything. Your tiny-miney “thing” is an attraction to everyone as parents are not putting any pants on you to show off your “thing”. You have at least one naked photo smiling at the universe as if saying “you see this thing: I am gonna f*** you all”. They teach you cursing and in family events, they ask you to curse to this uncle, that neighbor, this man and that aunt. Who cares… The main thing is, you make them all very happy as they are laughing and they reward you for it.

You learn that you will always get rewarded by being rude to others as it is manly.

Then you go to kinder-garden where you pull the hair of girls, push them, hit them. When their parents complain your parents justify that you are just being a child.

You learn that you are allowed to do anything to girls, as they are just girls and hey, that’s fun. 

You also start believing that no matter what you do, your parents are gonna justify it. Because you are awesome! And then you grow up and go to school. If you have a female teacher and you a handsome lovely boy, that’s even better. Favoritism in schools will get you through many things. Then, of course, comes college years and you study hard to get admitted to best schools of the country.

That, of course, happens if either your parents are rich or you are brainy. You don’t have to always show up to school, do your assignments fully as girls around you are gonna do it for you or teacher will yield. Education system allows your parents to gain you a status if you pay well. At home, you do not have to do chores (maybe taking the garbage out), no cleaning, no cooking, no taking care of your laundry. Why would you do it if you have a mother and a sister (it is even better) as that’s their damn job?

You have to wear the best, eat the best, get the best. Best of bests.

You learn that woman has to serve men. 

Years pass and you fall in love. If you are lucky your family agrees to “buy” her for you. If you are out of luck, then your parents decide. They buy you a house (most cases), car (as these two are the most asked questions while asking for the hand of the woman), choose you a woman, ask for her hand, buy her the ring, buy her clothing (if the girl is lucky she will choose what she wants, if not, sorry), do the wedding (just they way they want) and marry you.

You learn that if your parents are alive, nothing as such is your responsibility. 

Your wife (poor her) is not only your wife. She is the replacement for your mother, sister and any other woman in your family. She does the cooking, cleaning, bearing children, taking care of them, doing laundry, working, studying and everything else. She wakes up to be there for everyone else in the family, except for herself. If she is lucky she will buy some things for herself from time to time or do things she likes. The rest (mostly, most of her time) she has to be the servant.

You learn that wife is the servant you actually own.

If you are a good man, you will not be satisfied with your wife and go get yourself a lover. Are you kidding me? Who should be doing the extraordinary sex stuff with you? Your wife is your wife. She is holy and she can’t be seen as the sex object. That’s why you always need a lover, tons of ONS to feel as a full potential man. You cry with the lover, sleep with the lover, talk about your plans, be true you. Because with your wife, you have to be serious. Never cry or show the sign of weakness. Not because you are not allowed, but because that’s the way that woman accepts you. Strong and powerful. These women take away your humanity by imposing so many characteristics they miss. They make you the object of power because they are lazy themselves to share responsibilities. At age, your responsibilities grow. Your parents start aging too and your responsibility is to take care of them. They live with you…and all the rest to follow.

Of course, I am not talking about those who do not do it, but the majority of men who do. So, while reading, please, do not take it personally. If you are different, good for you, but if you are angry after reading this, that means there is something you recognized about yourself. Sorry, that’s the nature of psychology.

Long story short, the society brings you up as an asshole, teaches you how to be a better asshole and then makes you believe that this is most you can make out of yourself. They teach you that the whole universe is actually evolving around your tiny-miney “thing”.

While doing this, they take away your rights to be a better man, a better father, a better brother or son. They make a puppet out of you who serves their purpose, to sustain the illiteracy of society. You become the tool for them to be happy about their misfortunes and unhappy past. While doing with good intentions, they destroy your true character and plant ego-centrism which is a sign of weakness and complex. You believe that power is the strength. They take away your softness, your romantic soul, your true self. They don’t let you cry, they don’t let you explore your full potential and in most cases, the rest of the world as you have to be there to take care of all these people who made you a terrible man.

I feel for you, the man of Azerbaijan!