Beyond Words

Understanding and Interpreting Body Language

Humans pride themselves on their seemingly unique ability to verbalize feelings and ideas. While the mouth tells one story, gestures and posture may tell a different story.

In today’s competitive and increasingly global business culture, the value of effective and active communications seems obvious .often times; however, so much thought is put into the verbal message that another key factor of successful communication can be overlooked: body language.

 Body Language means that how you physically present yourself to others.  It has been proven to be an extremely powerful viewer into the inner workings of the human psyche. Many studies and researches underlined that when we are talking we use (93%) of our communication is non-verbal , body language in the first place (55%), and the tone voice is the second place (38%) while the verbal (talking) is only (7%).

Actually ,Body language can help us become more likeable or our presentation more memorable or it can solidify business opportunities, but it can also make us look incompetent ,ignorant or untrustworthy .And that’s why it is imperative for you to be attuned to and aware of body language.

In this article I will try to recognize some common body language cues, Learn   how to observe and decode it, what the emotions behind common uses of body language, and how to use this body language information to put your best foot forward.

Language of Gestures :

Body language and nonverbal communication are transmitted through the eyes, face, hands, arms, legs and posture (sitting and walking).Each individual, isolated gesture is like a word in sentence; it is difficult and isolated dangerous to interpret in and of itself.Therefore consider the gesture in the light of everything else that is going on around you.

Facial expressions: The face has around 90 muscles in it, with about 30 of these purely for expressing emotion. it is often assumed to be the easiest aspect of body language to interpret and the most reliable indicator of a person’s attitudes, emotions & feelings.

There are some Common facial gestures that are famouse between people: Frowns for unhappiness, anger ,Smiles for happiness, Sneers for dislike, disgust,Clenched jawsfor  tension, anger and Pouting lips for  sadness. Blushing ,which happens completely involuntarily to most people in situations of embarrassment or shame,and Blanching which is more commonly referred to as going pale is a sign of shock or guilt .

Eyes : Windows of the soul, excellent indicators of feelings.Shifty eyes, beady eyes and look of steel  demonstrate awarness.Honest person has a tendency to look you straight in the eye when speaking. Generally speaking ,failure to make and maintain eye contact can be sign of dishonesty,disinterstest or nervousness.a raised eyebrow often illustrates interset or surprise and is seen as a submissive gesture while the raising of both eyebrow usually indicated surprise or incredulousness .

Mouth: some of us think that the expressions made with mouth may seem easy to interpret at first glance ,but in fact it can be deceiving .smiles for example : people smile for varity of reasons – not just to express happiness. many people also smile when they feel fear or sadness or simply to reasure. The mouth sends additional signals when it is speaking. If the mouth moves little, perhaps including incoherent mumbling, this may indicate an unwillingness to speak, for example from shyness or from a fear of betraying themselves. A mouth that moves a lot during speech can indicate excitement or dominance as it sends clear signals that ‘I am speaking, do not interrupt!’

However,because of the varying meaning and interpretationd of facial expreesions,don’t always accept expressions at face value ,use expressions as general indicators to guide conversation ,look at other nonverbal cues to corroborate with expressions ,and ask further questions to clrify and gauge the thoughts and feeling of others .

What Posture is saying:

 A person who is standing straight with shoulders back,chest out and stomach in is someone who is open,exuding confidence and commanding attention,alternately ,A person who is standing with his shoulders slouched inward ,with the head and neck down is someone who is either lacking confidence or feeling inferior.

A person who Sitting with his legs crossed and elevated foot moving in a slight circular motion indicates boredom or impatience. Interest and involvement are usually projected by sitting on,while who walk with his shoulders hunched and hands in his pockets tend to be secretive and critical. he don’t seem to like much of what is going on around him. Dejected people usually scuffle along with their hands in pockets, heads down, and shoulders hunched over.

Interpreting of Gestures:

Hands have 27 bones and are a very expressive part of our anatomy, and there are more nerve connections between the hands and the brain than between any other parts of the body, and therefore the gestures and positions we take with our hands give powerful insights into our emotional state.

Tightly clenched hands usually indicate that the person is experiencing undue pressure.It may be difficult to relate to this person because of his tension and disagreement.Superiority and authority are usually indicated when you are standing and joining your hands behind your back.

Rubbing gently behind or beside the ear with the index finger or rubbing the eye usually means the other person is uncertain about what you are saying.Leaning back with both hands supporting the head usually indicates a feeling of confidence or superiority.

Cupping one or both  hands over the mouth, especially when talking, may well indicate that the person is trying to hide something.Putting your hand to your cheek or stroking your chin generally portrays thinking, interest or consideration.Fingers bent across the chin or below the mouth most often shows critical evaluation. When a person is lying or hoping to mislead someone, this person is more likely to use hand gesture less frequently than someone who is not being deceitful.

Certain gestures can also let you know when a person is nervous or anxious – fiddling touching the face or neck ,playing with jewelry or rubbing their hands on their thighs .many times people do these things as a way to self –soothe or distract from their feelings.

In certainly ,these are some of signs of body language not all , but I tried here to explain the most important ones.

Are men and women speaking the same dialects of body language?

Actually, many studies and researches show that in terms of gender, men and women often speak different dialects of body language and here some examples :

–          Women tend to gesture less than men.

–          Women break eye contact sooner than men do.

–          Women prefer face – to – face interaction, while men prefer side-by- side.

–          Men send and interpret fewer facial expressions than women.

–          Men naturally tend to have more relaxed or aloof postures.  

Women and men should also be mindful of common misinterpretations of seemingly natural displays of body language when interacting with each other-head tilting, touching and laughter, when done excessively or aggressively, can all be received as flirtation.

Top ten body language tips:

The body language plays a key role in day-to-day communication. Body language includes non-verbal communication such as body posture, gestures, facial expressions and eye movements.

Depending on the circumstances and who you talk to, the body language will differ. However, here are some important tips on how to improve your body language for effective communication:

1. Make eye contact: Make eye contact while speaking or listening but not too much. Too much eye contact may look like staring and may distract the other person. You can find a happy medium with practice.

2. Relax your body: Relax, don’t be nervous. Maintain a relaxed pose instead of all stiffened up. Avoid or minimize fidgety movement and nervous ticks. Do not shake your leg or tap your fingers against some surface.

3. Maintain some distance: In many cultures, people get too close or even all touchy feely. If other person starts to step back, you will know that you are invading his/her space. You can lean forward to make a point or listen, but don’t be in other person’s face.

4. Smile: Smile when you meet someone or when you start a new conversation. Don’t be overly serious all the time. Smile frequently to show a likable attitude. However, don’t maintain a constant smile on your face, it may look fake. You can laugh if it makes sense but too much laughing may look odd.

5. Hand gesture: Use your hand gestures to stress your points or opinion but don’t overdo it to the point that your gestures become distraction.

6. Don’t cross your arms or legs: Crossing your arms all the time makes you look too defensive. This is habit in some cultures and you can improve upon it by practicing.

7. Mirror: If you mirror other person’s body language during a conversation subconsciously, it means that you are connecting. You can use reverse thinking and consciously try to mirror the other person to show that you are connecting.

8. Don’t cover your face: Some people cover their face with their hand or fingers while talking, often without realizing. Try not to hide your face. Show your face to your audience while talking.

9. Pause and breathe: Make sure to pause at the right time, to separate your thoughts. This also gives the other person some time to digest your message. Pausing at the right time improves the effectiveness. This also gives you ample time to breathe and maintain a calm and collected composure.

10. Body posture: Don’t slouch or look down constantly. If you are sitting, sit up straight. If you are standing, try not to slouch or look down while talking or listening.

Practice these tips, especially the ones that you think you need to improve upon. Speak with confidence and appositive attitude; this will show in your body language.

Finally , body language is the extension of thought ,it has been used for centuries predating common language between cultures. It’s an important part of effective communication. body language is how we know when someone is listening ,it’s how we know someone likes us of finds us boring ,it’s how we know someone is being honest or feeling an emotion, it’s how we know someone is reacting to what’s being said. knowledge is power and the eyes have it – take the time and effort to become familiar with others’ exhibitions of body language ,especially in the global context ,and to become familiar with your own .